WhY___bCoZ

oh my god…. am i insane????

why my mind so complicated than everyone???

everytime i oso think something very simple but i make it very complicated.

if not then i will think of something from other prospective but at the end confuse myself pula….

now i gain a lot of self-confidence d,

and at  last can focus my mind on many things and can handle those problems that i say in "okok…",

but a new problem arises,

that is,

i become arrogant d….

i start being self-centred and think that i always right again…

i got irritated easily again oso…

like laz time when my dogs fight i wont peduli them,

but now i am irritated when i see them fight and want to pukul them…

i dun wan to be like this….

this is the worst thing that i ever want….

bcoming irritated will make my life full of hatred and resentment only…

i want a peaceful life….

then if someone say sth that against me,

i feel angry easily too…

how to solve this prob?????

help….

i dun wan to be like this….

to my dear frenz,if anyone of u see me very quiet recently plz dun be bothered by it,coz i am trying to fight my arrogant feeling if i sit soundlessly….

since my dearest frenz has urged me to write sth on my blog….so i have to write sth….haiz….lol.i wanted to use chinese to write this passage eh,but my njstar got problem and canot start,so i am forced to write in english,if dun understand dun blame me hah.but if u r a malaysian,u should be able to understand,except u dun read this.(-.-")…

>coz i was really busy after i came back from the IChO second phase camp.i went there from 22nd of april to 25th of april.actually i wasn’t supposed to go there because i am not those shortlisted.but i was given chance to substitute those who don’t want to go.there were nine seniors gt selected from our school but all of them dun wan to go,so i was able to go to the camp for them.that was reli a nice trip and i learn lot of organic chemistry intensively from there,and i know new frenz there,like chong it and 1 jit sin gal….i forget what is her name d.lol.anyway,it is  a little bit sad tht after came back from kl,i was assigned to many homeworks and experiments report which my class had done during the time when i was in kl.so i was kept busy again and not free to write blog again.what is worst, i gt muet exam on the sat of the week when i went for IChO,i totally didnt prepare for muet and i think my exam maybe with flying colour too,flying with my blood on it.haiz…

>after muet exam i am not busy liao,suppose to have free time to write sth mah ho?but i turn lazy liao.after i post my photos during IChO into my blog liao i lazy to write anythg more abt d trip pula…feel like very tire,and i gt exam start on 17/5,so i keep on postphone blogging until today i see hui yang urged me to write sth.so i have to thanks hui yang o..

>frankly speaking,not so good.mainly because the stress from exam.i tot maybe laz time i score too high so i aim too high again this time,forcing myself to study more thg but act i dun have enuf time for all those thg tht i decide to study.eventhough i gt time to study all those thg,my mind canot focus on what i am reading,i keep on thinking what i am supposed to think when i was studying…like thinking question about theory tht i studied abt physics.but i end up confusing myself and i turn out to be studying ntg at all….btw,my frenz keep on high expectation from me,expect me to do well again,i reli glad to hear that,but i am very stressed hearing them saying this….in fact i am not that good…plus somebody keep saying i am stupid when ask me sth i give wrong ans,or not the ans that they wan…oh please!

i am not suppose to know everythg on earth and cant ans correctly everytime,

at least,i am.

>my sadness is related to my family oso.maybe it is not a prob but i tot it is.apparently,my parents prefer to hang out with my sister rather me after she has came back laz monday.i am not developing hatred to my sister of course,she is the best sister i could ever have,but i could hardly agree with my parents move.eventhough they tried to be fair to me,like treat me in better way,via giving me more packet money,but i know that they are having a hard time when alone with me.our generation gap causes us no topic in common and ntg we could share together.they are not interested on  my stuff and neither do i interested on their stuff.but at least try not to be so fair to me.i dun mind u like she but at least show it openly and dun try to be good to me if u r not good to do so.i would only feel guilty to have my parent pushing themselves to their limits.so juz leave me alone k?

i want to work hard but enjoy life at the same time and keep good relationship with frenz but at the same time be true to myself.stm if u wan to be good with somebody u have to hide ur own feeling.i dislike that so i am figuring a better way to live…but my main purpose is to work hard and obtain good result temporarily…

>anyway,no matter how i change,my frenz,u r owz my frenz and i’ll never forget u all!!!it is not easy to be frenz,and

long enuf d gua?? so hui yang u satisfy liao? if still not after exam i write lagi panjang eh for u.hehe.chia neh.